May 2020: Hospitality in a Time of Social Distancing
“Come on over.” “The house is a mess, but you’re welcome anytime.” “Mi casa es su casa.” At one time or another, most of us have said one or more of these things. As Christians, we know that hospitality is a wonderful thing. Numerous places in Scripture tell us to practice hospitality (Rom. 12:13). It is seen as a good deed (1 Tim. 5:10). Yet, in a =me of social distancing, what does it look like? Is it inviting people to our backyard pa=o for an outdoor meal while staying six feet apart, and removing our masks in between bites of grilled hamburgers?
As a community and ministry of hospitality, hope and healing, we in ArborSpring have been thinking about hospitality since our beginning in 2007. Believing the Lord would give us a property fairly quickly, we officially named the ministry ArborSpring Retreat House. We anticipated a place large enough to house 10-12 overnight guests and the healing and equipping ministries we offered. We looked forward to providing hospitality to those who came.
While we wait on God’s timing for the retreat house, we have understandably asked the Lord how we could still offer hospitality to others. He led us to a devotional thought by Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest, professor, spiritual mentor and author. In his book, Bread for the Journey, he writes about “Listening as Spiritual Hospitality.” Nouwen states,
“Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality…”
Through Nouwen’s words, we in ArborSpring came to understand hospitality as more than a place; it’s really about being a welcoming presence. Even without a physical location, we discovered that we can still be a “retreat house” ourselves. By our presence, we can create a welcoming space into which we can invite others, a space where they can experience warmth, safety and God's love.
Especially during this time of uncertainty, anxiety and grief over the loss of what we knew as “normal,” we need people who practice spiritual hospitality. We need people who can listen well and be those safe places for others to come and find relief and refreshment. Whether it is through Zoom, a phone call or talking to our neighbor over the fence, we can all engage in some way in the ministry of spiritual hospitality.
This said, such hospitality is not an easy thing. Nouwen reminds us, “To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.”
I believe that those who “are free to receive, to welcome, to accept,” are those whose hearts are full. When our hearts are full of the Lord himself, we are able to listen well. I pray God would fill and enlarge our hearts, knowing that the bigger the heart, the bigger the space to welcome those we know and have yet to meet. And, we needn’t worry about “getting it right,” for as someone has said, “Hospitality is not about inviting people into our perfect homes; it’s all about inviting people into our imperfect hearts.”
Questions to ponder…
What goes on inside of me when I listen to others?
How do both my healing and brokenness affect how well I listen?
To what extent do I engage in genuine spiritual hospitality? What does that look like in my own life and ministry?
What is God's invitation to me?
Pondering with you,
Arlene